Essays, Memoirs, & True Stories  April 2013 | issue 448

It Is No Longer Necessary To Write Novels

by Sparrow

This page contains a photograph which requires the Flash plug-in to be viewed. You can download it for free, here.

Sparrow lives with his wife, Violet Snow, in the misty Catskill Mountains, where he forces himself to read Freud every day. He’s the author of America: A Prophecy and the forthcoming How to Survive the Coming Collapse of Civilization. Follow him on Twitter (@Sparrow14).

I THINK IT WAS Jorge Luis Borges who said that it was no longer necessary to write novels; it was sufficient to write the review of the novel. I say it’s no longer necessary to write novels; you may just write the first line.

I woke up, smelled the coffee, then lay in bed for three hours.

Using my phone, I took a picture of my camera.

I know who I am, but I don’t know whom I am.

I am the outgoing president of the Extroverts Association.

I’m allergic to alcohol: every time I drink it, I get lightheaded and befuddled.

I listen to the still small voice mail.

I live in a mobile home: my body.

My narcissism is much more extreme than yours.

God is love, but love is not God.

For six months, drugs can make you a better person.

I am a Marxist, in the sense that I love saying, “I am a Marxist.”

I like being the center of inattention.

The complete text of this selection is available
to subscribers in our print and digital editions.

A Good Deal. A Great Gift. Give The Sun as a holiday gift and save up to 40%.