As for conforming outwardly, and living your own life inwardly, I don’t think much of that.
If A says to B, “Lend me your scythe,” and B refuses, and the next day B says to A, “Lend me your shovel,” and A replies, “I won’t because yesterday you refused to lend me your scythe” — that is revenge.
If A says to B, “Lend me your spade,” and B refuses, and the next day B says to A, “Lend me your scythe,” and A replies, “Here it is, for I am not like you, who would not lend me your spade” — that is bearing a grudge.
