YEAR’S END, ’84

 

Ragged chunks of
winter taking over.
Myself, stubbornly

pressing on. Pain in
spine rages!

“I’M HERE AND WON’T
GIVE INTO IT!” is the
song I live.

At 9, polio both legs,
arms, back, neck,
paralyzed. Told

would never walk,
but did! Six months
later, I was running!

Shattered ankle, crushed
knee, again re-learning
how to walk.

Alcoholism.

Ruptured discs in lower
back forced me to bed
three years.

Gums, tongue, head filled
with unknown poison, clogging
esophagus. All of teeth pulled

in dentist’s office, three
straight hours, drained nearly
a pound of the suffocating ooze.

Deformed 5th and 6th vertebraes
from beatings when a child,
enflamed violently. Arms, neck,

collapsed. Simultaneously,
intestinal cancer discovered.
Told would be dead less than

a year. Five months later,
dysentery four consecutive
days, nights, ridded body

of disease.

In these raw years begged,
pleaded with God for mercy.
Swore at Him for allowing pain’s

ferocity without relief. Decided
He wasn’t personally involved
with my life.

Once had vision trying to enter
Heaven. He stopped me, holding
up hand as though traffic cop,

not allowing freedom from pain,
suffering, feeble body wanted.

February 20th, will be
46. Life continues from
poverty’s skeleton.

Writing this poem, have
accepted God is unattainable
reality, not necessary to know

what is in His design.