1 The fish strain upward like spirits but can rise no further than the surface. 2 The squirrel holds still. 3 The branch bends toward the cat and the woman who look up and down, down and up, ready to start. 4 The sky pours down into the water. 5 The squirrel turns on the branch. 6 If the water became air — if the air became earth, the earth fire, the fire light, the fish could cross over and swim in the unpartitioned element of desire.
A Downwardness All Around Us
A slant, a slight giving way of things ready to fall: blooms listless already on their vines, poised clumps of water far at sea, a foot hinged at the precipice. My mother’s voice falls down the phone from Florida. She doesn’t know what to do and I don’t know what to do — Falling voices, falling arms, legs, faces, and I myself poised in a glitter of air. I would ask for an effortless falling away like the hours after midnight, sliding.
In my complete physical the physician, a man I had just met, made me stand on tiptoe and walk along a line. I felt infantile. I thought of the time I tripped, fell into the chair in Dr. Fein’s office. He told me I wanted to fall to lose control to entrust myself to him. What an ass. Falling out a window would be different. I have wondered what it would be like to lift your arms and leap down through gentle air.
Imagine What It Would Be Like To Parachute
First the cramped waiting, your folded legs, a close place full of sweat and breath, a tick-tick in your head till the door opens, the sting of air and light. To fall that fast, like a clumsy package thrown from a bridge, before you’re sure this contraption will work, will save you from history, before you bloom in the huge air.
Falling In Love Again, Wouldn’t It Be Grand?
The shadow of the small leaves falls across our bodies, the hallucination of a mortal wound: we say it’s the season. The leaves remind me of your eyes, a pale translucence that seems to gather light. But I will not cross over, will never enter your absolving eye. It’s just an April story. The boys found her letter on his bed and laughed. It read: I love you more than life itself.