The Revolution
When I am President, the revolution
will come, and we will all be in it,
even the rich. Everyone is in a
revolution, on one side or the other. The
rich fight the poor, and the poor
fight the police. This is how the
world has always been.
It’s true, in 1909, a few
anarchists went directly to the offices
of rich men and shot them, but that
never caught on. The poor love fighting
the police, because it is what they know.
And the police adore fighting the poor, because
it is what they know. The poor enjoy winning
revolutions, but they don’t mind losing, because
losing is familiar to them,
while the police hate losing revolutions;
if they lose they are disgraced.
And the rich always win, even if they are
shot and killed. They win, or their
lawyers win, which is the same thing.
Even if the revolution is completely
successful, and their factories are smashed and then
nationalized, the rich will sneak
off to Switzerland, speak to a banker, and build three
new factories in Taiwan. The rich are unstoppable,
while the poor are easily
stoppable. Every day the poor stop themselves numerous times
from swearing at the boss and kicking him.
The poor have a tremendous — and justified — fear
of being fired, for bad as it is to be poor,
it is worse to starve. While the rich have no
fear of being fired, as they have no job.
Why bother to have a revolution then?
It is fate. The rich must suffer the
occasional sting of uprising, to repay them
for their world-destroying greed. And I, as
President, will bring on the revolution, to
humble these vicious men, and their
well-meaning wives.