Sex

I was having sex with a man, and I became frightened. So I got out of bed and covered him with potato chips.

“Don’t leave me this way!” he shouted.

“Call up someone you know who likes potato chips,” I said, and left.

 

Born Without A Nose

A man was born without a nose. This troubled him deeply. He felt bizarre and incomplete.

One day he had an idea. He would sit, close his eyes, and imagine having a nose. He did this for six hours. When he opened his eyes, he had a nose.

It was an ugly nose.

 

String

Someone attached a string to the back of my shirt. It was very long, and as I walked through the city, it wound around cars, mailboxes, and streetlamps.

Eventually I came upon the string, but had no idea it was attached to me.

 

Stadium

I went to a baseball stadium, but there was no baseball game. Instead, thousands of people were eating fried rice. The stadium had been converted into a Chinese restaurant.

I ordered fried rice, and looked up at the sky.

 

Grapefruit

I bought a grapefruit, but when I peeled it, there was no grapefruit inside. Instead there was a globe, with tiny people on it, and cows and trees and houses.

I was surprised that it tasted quite good.