A friend insists he’s got a major New York publisher interested in this. We pass along, without comment, his table of contents, penciled crudely on a Kleenex.

— Ed.

  • Conventional. Nasal-nasal front rubbing position.
  • Nasal-oral sex.
  • The myth of a nasal orgasm.
  • The eight-inch nose: fact or fiction?
  • Nasal hygiene.
  • Nasal perversions.
  • Should teenagers blow their noses on their first date?
  • The nose in history.
  • Sniffing.