My Parents’ Honeymoon, Atlantic City, 1941
I see them on the boardwalk the morning after their wedding, my father in his fedora, handsome like Fred MacMurry, and my mother beaming with love they had vowed for a lifetime. The night before they had danced to “In the Mood” in the Statler Hotel before stealing upstairs to move to their own music, that giving choreography of hands and tongues. Then, in the salt-aired morning, they worshipped in St. Michael’s Church where each Latin hymn was a love song and their prayers entwined in the stained glass glow above the statues. And all day they basked in the sharp April sun as they walked miles of sand in the scent of taffy and sauerkraut. I see them stopping to gaze into the foamy motion of waves to recall those June nights they were heat against each other in the chill of a midnight swim when “Moonlight Serenade” from an outdoor pavilion seemed like music for only their ears. When the shadows darkened the boardwalk, I picture them strolling back to their room to press their clothes together in a suitcase they would carry for the next twenty-one years. And then, driving north on old Route 9, my father works the gears in the ’38 Packard as he shields his eyes from the splash of sun that paints the dusk into a marigold. And Penny, my sister, as big as an angel on the head of a pin, lives her first day in the life of my mother. They all sit close, my family, going home for the very first time.
Letter To My Principal
I came to school late today and I am sorry. I do remember your note about my punctuality but a calf was born last night and I found him blinking into his first morning. And, Sir, he was so tiny and white, like a dab of marshmallow upon the spearmint grass. So, please understand I was caught in a sunrise so gold it changed our barn to pink and sponged the dew where the calf lay startled at the light after life in the black pond of the womb. I was set to leave, I swear I was, but his mother, her eyes dark plums, began to bathe him with her tongue moving like a paint brush up and down his milky face. And when he gazed at me and mooed like a nervous bassoon, what could I do but stay until he stood on his own and began to tiptoe as if the grass were eggs.
Home Team, 1959
First base sidled the front of Cinkota’s Bar where Hungarian refugees lifted Rheingold to toast the life of immigrants till shouts moved them to stagger down the steps, noses red as sponge balls, and watch our strange game where home was a hint of white in the early dark. They’d mill about, drinking and pointing, then one would ask, “Please, yes?” and we’d nod and make room for foreigners loving our American game that they played with the grace of maniacs. Their baggy black pants and white shirts flapped like flags as they stomped Albert Street chasing fly balls that hid in the maze of wires waiting to dive through cupped hands, sting their noses, and skip among the wheels of Mr. Toth’s DeSoto. They’d giggle themselves helpless as they tumbled headfirst into bases and swung at underhand pitches with the fury of lumberjacks chopping oak trees. Later, they’d buy us bottles of Coke that chilled our hands in the air of August and, as we grieved the clench of next month’s classes, they rejoiced, like winners, these men who had fled the death of Budapest, made it home with us on Albert Street where we opened arms and cried, “Safe! You’re safe!”
Life Guard
While you were working, struggling with a cast iron tire rim, your heart gave up and you, fifty-three, a God-fearing Irish truck driver, bent to your knees one last time. They said you asked for “me drivin’ cap” when they raised you on the stretcher and, as your hometown blurred through the ambulance, you clutched the old hat like a steering wheel until your fingers stiffened on the tattered brim. And I, a block away, followed your breakfast advice and pummeled the New Street bully who was extorting my route money each day. Blood pumped from his startled face as I found the power in my thirteen-year-old fists only you knew had been there. From loading docks of Jersey towns, your friends, working men, came in Sunday suits, blank-eyed, hands cracked with cold, to circle your casket, a gleam of burgundy on the morning snow. Then somewhere in the murmur of a “Hail Mary” I peered through the towering shoulders to find the Raritan River flowing silver in the valley below your grave and I was five again, floating on that river in a truck tire tube, laughing so free as you waved from shore in blue work clothes, your smile a second sun in the August sunshine. I didn’t see the tugboat prowling downstream that shattered the Raritan into roller coaster waves and flipped me into the wet darkness. I stabbed at the water, wild, screaming, “Dad! Help me!” but the river wrenched me under again. I remember praying as you had taught me. Then your hands were those of God in a Bible picture as they pierced the water, clutched me under my shoulders, and lifted me up into the life of summer air. You carried me ashore, holding my face against your sharp Saturday beard and calmed my crying with “It’s okay, it’s okay.” Your battered work shoes sloshed up the beach as my dripping trunks purpled your shirt and inched chills up your arms that held me close. On the way home, your wipers slapped away a thunderstorm as I lay against you in the truck, sleeping safe to the beating of your heart, as constant as the falling rain.