Man Is

the only animal                                     who

             Files things away for reference
             Has lost his external soul
             Thinks TV is real
             Doesn’t flip his mother
             Can botch his own suicide

                                                     “Only man,
                                          supererogatory beast,
                     Dame Kind’s thoroughbred lunatic, can
                           do the honors of a feast.” (Auden)

                                                                                                                    who

“is given the necessity of having always to do something
upon pain of succumbing.” (Ortega)

                          who

“labors.” (Marx)

                                                                                                                  who

“does not without effort know what he is.” (Mumford)

“But though nothing is more distinctively
‘human’ than a scientific laboratory in one
sense (for no other species but man is known
ever to have made and used one), it is the
kind of ‘humanity’ we get in mechanization 
(a ‘part of’ man that became so poignantly
in industrial routines, ‘apart from’ man).”
(Kenneth Burke)

                   who

     Lives as if

          “The desire to take medicine
          is perhaps the greatest fea-
          ture which distinguishes man
          from animals.” (Osler)

                                      the only animal whose

“condition is that of ‘individuality
within finitude.’ ” (Ernest Becker)

     “Of all the distinctions between
     man and animal, the characteristic
     gift which makes us human is the
     power to work with symbolic images:
     the gift of imagination.” (Bronowski)                  “Alone
                                                                                                           of all
                                                                                                           the animals
                                                                                                           man knows
                                                                                                           he
                                                                                                           will die.”
                                                                                                           (J. M. Cameron)

“Man is the only animal”

                             who

“blushes or needs to.” (Twain)

        “According to an extensive study
        carried out in California in 1966,
        pigs are the only other mammals,
        aside from man, that are capable
        of getting sunburned.” (Paul Sterling Hagerman)

“Carlyle, however, celebrated the virtues of silence through
thirty volumes. Why is this a joke? The language of
paradox is as old as human consciousness, an integral
part of its most complex functions. No animal can think
or utter: ‘I do not exist.’ ” (Ihab Habib Hassan)

        “The difference between men and animals is,
        we are told, that men can count, and Ida
        can count beautifully up to ten again and
        again and everybody listens.” (Donald Sutherland)

                who

        Is beastly

                                                                                                    but

“Human beings owe their biological supremacy
to the possession of a form of inheritance quite
unlike that of other animals: exogenetic or
exosomatic heredity.” (P. B. Medawar)

        “What distinguishes man from
        the other animals is that in
        one form or another he guards
        his dead.” (Unamuno)

“Biologically, man is still the great amateur of the animal
kingdom: he is unique in his lack of anatomical and physio-
logical specialization.” (Rene Dubos)

                                                         who

        Is not chronically afraid
     “the only”   who   “amateur”   who   “animal”
     “all the others are professionals.” (C. S. Lewis)

        “Action alone is the exclusive pre-
        rogative of man; neither a beast nor
        a god is capable of it.” (Hannah Arendt)

Marx: “who labors”
Adam Smith: “Propensity to truck, barter and exchange
             one thing for an other” distinguishes man
             from animal.

                                                                animal whose

“behavior causes activation of the limbic
pleasure regions of the brain, not as a
result, primarily, of the sense organs,
but primarily as activity of the brain’s
thinking region.” (H. J. Campbell)

        “On all the other planets I have known,
        animals were never afraid of machines.
        They are not afraid of things they have
        never seen before.” (Stanislaw Lem)

                                                     who

Says man is the only animal

                                                                                                          who