And then after I told you that you would die You said, When I’m gone, will you take care of my cats And I said, Of course, honey, I will take care of your cats I didn’t say I should be taking care of the children you would never have And I didn’t say how can you be so calm about your own death And I didn’t say God I wish I could fall to the ground screaming because that’s what mothers do when their children die no matter how old they are And I didn’t say I hate you God right now more than ever And I didn’t say there is no philosophy of life that covers this I didn’t say how am I supposed to breathe when you stop And I didn’t say how am I going to wash your body and dress you in your favorite pajamas and cover you with the blanket you have been carrying around for thirty-five years and put Yoda next to you, you silly Star Wars freak, and then wait for them to come get you, my life, my latitude, my longitude And I didn’t say how much my world revolved around you (oh only about 99 percent) And I didn’t say what a relief it would be for your pain to end And I didn’t say that once you were gone I would stop suffering in the old way and start suffering in the new way And I didn’t say that living in the crater of your death would be my burden and that sleeping in your bed would be my solace and that you would die again every morning the moment I woke up But I did say that I would take care of your cats And then I did
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