I once thought I could travel to You
the way a boat
navigates the complex and the simple waters.

I once thought my compass
would be enough to guide me, and Your stars of course — steady!
and the broad white sails
I stitched in my most tender ignorance.

I once thought if I traveled far enough,
and if I traveled fast enough, with my heart like a prow,
my heart its own rudder,
my heart the keel,
my heart the anchor!
and if I listened carefully for wind of the right direction,
and if I then dared close my eyes
and sail right off the rim of my world — then —
then! I must certainly find You.
Because You would catch me! This I knew.

And all these things I believed
in my foolishness and my fierceness, all these things
I was so sure of — are true.

For now I am wrecked!
upon the steep and sweet crags of Your pounding heart.
And there is no rescue here,
and no one to be rescued, and nowhere else to sail,
and no sails.
And there is finally nothing left for me to do
but to laugh — to laugh, and drown.