Wyoming, In Memoriam
No one is coming toward you, and many are battering at the gate to leave. Winter is long then one day it is summer, choking on heat. The ranches are lost, the mines have closed, the tourists have other more appealing places to go. Alone tonight, we sleep within the silence of stars. Coyote and Mountain Lion walk the ridge lines. Pronghorn slip under the fences still standing. But even as people leave, strange newcomers appear in pick-ups marked Texaco and Mobil and Exxon — not to live here, for they do not love this land, but to visit and take what they can. They scrape away the sad cactus, frozen and stunted, the twisted solitary tree, the thin yellow grass, until the earth is bare and they drill, 6000 feet, and more. Those of us who watch learn there is nothing we can do. As we ignored the exodus, so we try to ignore this entry, to continue walking from place to place, in memoriam, to saddle a horse and ride.
Among People
Alone after working all day among people, tired, I fall asleep on the couch, radio playing softly. Voices come toward me — “Attention!” and I sleepily turn the radio off. But they continue, “Attention! You are directed to leave this area. We are under nuclear attack. Proceed south as quickly as possible. This is not a test. We are under attack. Please remain calm.” Half asleep, heart beating hard so my throat feels the lump, I get up and open the door — dusty air and the red trails of light percolating through it as a car moves slowly up the road. No one in sight. Groggy, I run to the horses, saddle Trouble, put halters on the others, ready to ride when I feel a fresh wind on my face, clouds blowing away. I look up at the stars and clear sky, the silence and, awake, realize someone is playing a joke. I ride Trouble hard in the pasture, let him run full speed toward a fence, lean as he turns hard and gallops the fence line. Around and around the dark pasture until he slows on his own. I get off and, eyes closed, without a brush, rub him down with my hands — back and belly, neck, mane, tail. I whisper in his ear, press my lips to his face to taste the oils in his hair. Dropping the saddle pad on the ground and pulling Trouble’s blanket over my chest, I go to sleep in a field of horses, the smell of their skin and sweat rushing up my nose.
There, And Here
In Africa, I lived in a village where some boys caught a monkey and tied a rope around its neck, pinched it, slapped it, threw stones at its face. When the monkey cried, the boys leaned back and laughed, both sounds as close to me as my breath. Paraded up the street in pain and exhaustion, the imprisoned monkey fainted but its keepers brought it round to suffer some more. It tried to bare its teeth, as monkeys will, but this inspired no fear. They were only teeth, as beautiful as eucalyptus leaves on the trees where monkeys live above goats and pigs and flies buzzing like tiny green jars. In DuBois, Wyoming a rancher was pissed at his horse. He tied it to the bumper of his pick-up and dragged it down the county road, asphalt a high-speed whip flaying the horse till it died. A woman here wanted to punish her horse. She tied him with a rope to the ceiling of his stall. If he moved, he’d choke. She left him there three days. Today is Tuesday, 50 degrees, a cool wind from the northwest. Lovely day. I’d meant to go riding but this one day I won’t.
Outside Wyoming
There is a world, and it is full. Here we are measured by what is absent, the rain that is reluctant to fall. The joke is there are more pronghorn than people. It’s true, and there are more sheep than pronghorn, more grasshoppers than sheep. When the cold descends it’s a lid hammered shut. The heat flattens the summer grass and everything burns to gold but the animals we have to sell. “What a place,” you say. “Who would want to live there?” The answer is another truth not so much hard to explain as unused to being said.