Ragged chunks of winter taking over. Myself, stubbornly pressing on. Pain in spine rages! “I’M HERE AND WON’T GIVE INTO IT!” is the song I live. At 9, polio both legs, arms, back, neck, paralyzed. Told would never walk, but did! Six months later, I was running! Shattered ankle, crushed knee, again re-learning how to walk. Alcoholism. Ruptured discs in lower back forced me to bed three years. Gums, tongue, head filled with unknown poison, clogging esophagus. All of teeth pulled in dentist’s office, three straight hours, drained nearly a pound of the suffocating ooze. Deformed 5th and 6th vertebraes from beatings when a child, enflamed violently. Arms, neck, collapsed. Simultaneously, intestinal cancer discovered. Told would be dead less than a year. Five months later, dysentery four consecutive days, nights, ridded body of disease. In these raw years begged, pleaded with God for mercy. Swore at Him for allowing pain’s ferocity without relief. Decided He wasn’t personally involved with my life. Once had vision trying to enter Heaven. He stopped me, holding up hand as though traffic cop, not allowing freedom from pain, suffering, feeble body wanted. February 20th, will be 46. Life continues from poverty’s skeleton. Writing this poem, have accepted God is unattainable reality, not necessary to know what is in His design.
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