I’ve logged more experience than most with simplicity and the complexity you discover inside simplicity, minimalism and asocial behavior, endurance and landscape.
Here is the truth: I think some deep wisdom inside me (a) sensed the stress, (b) was terrified for me, and (c) gave me something new and hard to focus on in order to prevent me from lapsing into a despair coma — and also to keep me from having a jelly jar of wine in my hand.
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This is what Jesus said to the deaf man: Ephphatha. Be opened. This is what Jesus said. This is what a painter said of love: he said, Love is paying attention. This is what the painter said. Another, I forget who, said, You can trust the present. That is what she said. And as for faith, one says, It is a verb, another says, It is resting in the gamble, while for another it is traveling miles and days to that great and final lion to be consumed — what an honor! — consumed to the very bones.
What’s instructive is not that he walked on water but that he seemed so unharassed by the possibility of complete and utter catastrophe. Yes, it could all fall apart, he seemed to say; yes, the storm could turn your little ship into a sudden coffin — yes. Faith, he told us then, is not trusting things will one day be better. Faith is trusting things could never be better. No matter what.
Teddy Macker