I practice a very special form of mindfulness called not-minding-ness. This has brought me peace and purified my soul to the point that it is almost possible to live with me. My sacred principles are: Read no newspapers. Watch no television. Stay the hell offline. Do not discuss religion or politics with anyone dumber than yourself or smarter than yourself for in neither instance will there be enlightenment. Remain silent at all costs unless you are being tortured nonstop in which case it is acceptable to scream occasionally. If a spider is crawling over you let him crawl; he may well be more evolved and he comes by his poison honestly. Above everything be still and know that this world means to kill us all and will eventually succeed. Relax. The worst has already happened.